How to Write Sound Effects in a Novel
Incorporating sound effects into your novel can add depth and realism to your writing, immersing your readers in the scene. However, like any literary device, onomatopoeia should be used judiciously to avoid becoming distracting or overwhelming.
The job of any writer isn't to tell a story so much as to create an emotional response from the reader, making them feel what the character feels. So the question, for me anyway, would be "what am I trying to get them to feel here?", and try to use an effect that is appropriate to that.
Consider the following points when deciding whether and how to include sound effects in your writing:
Use Sparingly
I'm pretty skeptical of anything that says Don't Do This, but we want to make sure we're not overusing anything. Onomatopoeia, like alliteration, simile, metaphor, rhyme, rhythm, any literary device, can be overused, but when used at the right time in the right amount, can complete a story.
I would imagine the overuse of any device within the framework of a single story would get tiresome. Is it possible the judges said they don't like "overuse" of the device? I want to better understand better a tip I received in a recent crit that suggested dropping onomatopoeia because the judges have stated their dislike for it.
It may be that the sensory experience that you are trying to convey can be written in another way. My suggestion: Like any element of a critique, you should evaluate it and either change what is needed or disregard it and scroll on.
Speaking of judges, I have never heard on podcast, read in articles or tips, or read in any of my large number of writing books and manuals any mention of limiting onomatopoeias.
Emphasize with Formatting
I'd make them a separate word, italicized or all-caps. E.g. A few weeks ago I read a book in which there was almost no dialogue. Seriously, if you put up the pages on the wall, everyone is a big block of black text. The whole story was told in narrative.
Gauge the importance of sounds to the scene. By all means, use stand-alone sound effects if required. They offer an immediacy to the narrative that few other devices can equal. But never let it devolve into "Hand Waving," where a bunch of glossy tricks mask the plot.
Let's say a steak is dropped on a grill and the author writes, 'Sizzle,' as a stand-alone sound effect with a period after the word. The word becomes an onomatopoetic sound effect.
Consider Alternatives
Or, just don't bother with actually trying to spell out sounds. Sorry. Barely pertinent, and totally unhelpful. Actually neither impertinent nor unhelpful.
Examples of Sound Effects in Writing
Albom used some sound effects for great emphasis (in addition to the actual description of things happening). In Five People You Meet in Heaven, forex.
Gala, very good example. I'd forgotten about that, and you're entirely right. I remember reading that bit and actually hearing the whistle. In the middle of nowhere, on a silent ocean with a tiger glaring at me, only "TREEEEEE!" works, imho. "TREEEEEE! TREEEEEE! TREEEEEE! TREEEEEE! TREEEEEE! This is a serious book.
I remember the example because it was so strikingly wrong. In Philbrick's example ("He whammed me...") the gerund whammed takes a direct object (As gerunds are known to do in English, those little devils). Using onomatopoetic gerunds is not common. It conveyed at once the hit, its relative forcefulness and the relative ignorance of the POV character. If it is a word substituted for a more common verb (I recall in Philbrick's Freak the Mighty that the POV character was "whammed" rather than hit.) it can be both shocking and memorable.
I betch we could rely on ol' S. King to have used a few sound effects words. Gala - you mentioned Stephen King. I'm currently reading his 'Dark Tower' books, and in one spot he uses nonsense phrases to describe these bizarre creatures that attack the hero. He embellishes with descriptions of the sounds they make, saying they rise at the ends like questions. did-a-chum?
Example Scenario
Could you demonstrate what you meant?
Lori juggled the crockpot and covered cake stand in her hands as she trotted up the basement steps. She had taken both items out of their boxes in order to avoid having to make multiple trips up and down the stairs, but was starting to wonder how wise she had been. Halfway to the kitchen, the crockpot slipped from her hand. She cringed as it landed on a tread a few steps down, only to arc back through the air towards the hard basement floor. Her hopes were dashed as soon as it landed. She winced as the crock shattered.
CRASH!
That makes better sense to me than what I previously had in mind. Above her, she heard Geoff's footfalls as he crossed the living room heading towards the kitchen. She stayed where she was, shoulders hunched, staring at the pieces, wondering how she was going to cook the BBQ for their company now, waiting for him. "The crockpot.
I don't think there really is a right or wrong way. I think that it rather depends on the context you are writing and the emotion you are wishing to convey.
My writing professor once told me: sound effects make your book sound like an episode of Batman... POW! BANG! There're, of course, always exceptions.
"There are three rules to writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are." - W.